I don't know, Charles. It seems pointless to think about, considering we don't know if we'll ever be able to get back. Why hope for something that might never happen?
[ It's a stupid notion, hoping to go back and forward. It was strange enough that he appeared in the world with Thirteen to begin with, and strange that he and Charles have found themselves here. If he was a more optimistic man he might think it fortuitous that he and Charles are here together still, that they've been brought together again, as if it was fate.
Why would he believe in fate, after everything that's happened?
Looking down at Charles, listening to him speak, he breathes out softly. It all feels like a little bit too much, and Erik has to stop himself from leaping out of the bed and trying to go somewhere else. It feels a little too intense, a little too personal. ]
Charles...
[ Words aren't really what he is best known for, despite his grand speeches. Charles is here, being honest and open, and he feels like an idiot. Surely he should be able to say it better, should be able to confess how he feels, but it still lays heavy inside of him, twisted up and difficult. Turning his body, he tries not to let himself get too emotional. ]
I'm not going to reject you. I just... I...
[ It's easier to do something else, so he does - he leans in, kissing Charles gently. ]
( he'd steeled himself for the inevitable rejection considering how tense things have been between them lately, thinking he'd be able to accept it if erik simply wanted for them to remain as friends because that would have to be enough, but then erik kisses him, and he's surprised, having not quite expected for him to do that. )
Erik... ( charles brushes his thumb across the man's cheek, looking at him. ) You do know I was only joking about the marriage bit, right? Not that I don't think it's a lovely idea, but we certainly don't have to rush into anything. We can always take our time. Whenever you're ready. It's not like I'm going anywhere, and... ( he should probably just shut the hell up already, but he just wants erik to know that they can move this along at the speed of a snail even and he'd still be here; that he's not going anywhere. )
I'm just glad you can't read my mind. Because then you'd know how much I really like sleeping next to you. ( he'll just wrap his arm around erik then, sort of hugging him close. ) And I've missed this. ( he'd gotten used to sharing a bed with erik during those cold winter nights in folkmore. when it had started to become warmer and erik had stopped coming round as much, charles had found it difficult to sleep at night. )
[ Erik doesn't want to reject him, not really, but he's not sure if he is ready to give Charles everything that he wants. It's difficult, because he knows that Charles deserves far more than this, that he has earned the right to someone who can love him completely and entirely, who can offer up his entire heart without hesitation, but Erik isn't that man yet. He's still recovering from his grief, trying to find out who he is now in the wake of it.
Leaning into the touch to his cheek, he closes his eyes and tries to relax, trying not to let his confused emotions blare out at Charles in the way they have done before. ]
You could, if you wanted to. You don't have to stay here just because you care about me, Charles. I don't know when I can give you what you want.
[ Shifting, he draws Charles closer, kissing his forehead gently - but he wants to steal more, to kiss him again, but is it fair to want that when he can't offer everything, when he can't make the promise of more, of forever? He can't be that sort of man, not to Charles. ]
( leaving erik isn't an option. they're the only two people who know each other in this world they're in. possibly even the only two mutants left. besides, the only thing that makes sense is erik. everything else feels surreal to him. it had taken a long while for charles to get used to being in folkmore, and just as he'd reached that stage of acceptance, they'd both gotten kicked out by thirteen and found themselves here instead. )
What if... ( he shifts and looks up, taking the opportunity to press his lips against erik's, stealing a few kisses before he continues on. ) What if there are no expectations? What if we just do whatever we feel like whenever we feel like it? ( sounds like the old him. but if it's easier that way, why not? they're both adults here. ) You can't say you haven't thought about it. ( eyebrows raised as he looks at erik, challenging him to deny it. because all those nights they'd spent sleeping next to each other, he can't have been the only thinking about what sex would be like between them. )
I know I'm not... all that sober. ( very much not. ) But think about it. ( he'll just pat erik on the chest, once, twice, like, good chap, before resting his head there again, shifting to get comfortable. )
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[ It's a stupid notion, hoping to go back and forward. It was strange enough that he appeared in the world with Thirteen to begin with, and strange that he and Charles have found themselves here. If he was a more optimistic man he might think it fortuitous that he and Charles are here together still, that they've been brought together again, as if it was fate.
Why would he believe in fate, after everything that's happened?
Looking down at Charles, listening to him speak, he breathes out softly. It all feels like a little bit too much, and Erik has to stop himself from leaping out of the bed and trying to go somewhere else. It feels a little too intense, a little too personal. ]
Charles...
[ Words aren't really what he is best known for, despite his grand speeches. Charles is here, being honest and open, and he feels like an idiot. Surely he should be able to say it better, should be able to confess how he feels, but it still lays heavy inside of him, twisted up and difficult. Turning his body, he tries not to let himself get too emotional. ]
I'm not going to reject you. I just... I...
[ It's easier to do something else, so he does - he leans in, kissing Charles gently. ]
no subject
Erik... ( charles brushes his thumb across the man's cheek, looking at him. ) You do know I was only joking about the marriage bit, right? Not that I don't think it's a lovely idea, but we certainly don't have to rush into anything. We can always take our time. Whenever you're ready. It's not like I'm going anywhere, and... ( he should probably just shut the hell up already, but he just wants erik to know that they can move this along at the speed of a snail even and he'd still be here; that he's not going anywhere. )
I'm just glad you can't read my mind. Because then you'd know how much I really like sleeping next to you. ( he'll just wrap his arm around erik then, sort of hugging him close. ) And I've missed this. ( he'd gotten used to sharing a bed with erik during those cold winter nights in folkmore. when it had started to become warmer and erik had stopped coming round as much, charles had found it difficult to sleep at night. )
no subject
Leaning into the touch to his cheek, he closes his eyes and tries to relax, trying not to let his confused emotions blare out at Charles in the way they have done before. ]
You could, if you wanted to. You don't have to stay here just because you care about me, Charles. I don't know when I can give you what you want.
[ Shifting, he draws Charles closer, kissing his forehead gently - but he wants to steal more, to kiss him again, but is it fair to want that when he can't offer everything, when he can't make the promise of more, of forever? He can't be that sort of man, not to Charles. ]
I won't blame you.
no subject
What if... ( he shifts and looks up, taking the opportunity to press his lips against erik's, stealing a few kisses before he continues on. ) What if there are no expectations? What if we just do whatever we feel like whenever we feel like it? ( sounds like the old him. but if it's easier that way, why not? they're both adults here. ) You can't say you haven't thought about it. ( eyebrows raised as he looks at erik, challenging him to deny it. because all those nights they'd spent sleeping next to each other, he can't have been the only thinking about what sex would be like between them. )
I know I'm not... all that sober. ( very much not. ) But think about it. ( he'll just pat erik on the chest, once, twice, like, good chap, before resting his head there again, shifting to get comfortable. )